I first came across the concept of drafting as high school track runner. It is a tactic where a runner conserves energy by running in the ‘wake’ of a runner slightly ahead of them. This process reduces the total energy expended to fight air resistance. [Clarification: I am pretty sure that at in my waddle regimes, drafting did not influence my PRs.].
Drafting as a parent, is anyway that you can reduce your energy input by just replicating the steps of another parent instead of ‘reinventing the wheel’ through your own research. I would strongly suggest drafting after my experience as an academic parent to guard my time being present with my family and research colleagues. Here are some examples of when and how I drafted as a parent.
Identifying how to navigate the institutional paperwork:
I come from a small department where none of the other female faculty had gone through pregnancy during my tenure. Just at the time when my spouse and I got pregnant, my department got a new chair who was new to the institutional policies. I felt time limited (lots of pregnancy comorbidities (read high number of doctor appointments each week), teaching research, service, etc.), but knew that a large institution like ours probably had a high number of programs dedicated to helping women through pregnancy, birthing, and bonding. I just did not know where to look.
So, I asked for help. I emailed female faculty who had kids and asked for 30-minute phone call. While I needed to put in some prework (make a list of questions to get started), I eliminated a much longer research project. They quickly helped me identify the right HR rep, the resources that I could utilize, and examples of different methods chairs had helped faculty in the past. They also helped me identify the meetings I might want to still participate in while on leave and those that could probably wait.
Picking a daycare:
In March of 2019, the daycare for our 1 yr. old closed due to the COVI-19 pandemic. We (my partner, myself, and our toddler) were living in a two-bedroom condo in our small ‘city’ (if you are living in Chicago, please read that as ‘town’). We loved being with our daughter and seeing her first steps. However, about a month of coworking, all three of us (daughter included) were yearning for a daycare setting. Our daughter needed people who understood child development and we needed those same people to guide us.
We had moved to our area for my academic position and were far from family support. We were tired from parenting/working around the clock and taking of the task of identifying and checking the daycares in our area was daunting (added commitment). However, we knew the choice was going to be important. So, we made the decision to draft.
We identify three parents who also worked at the same institution. I knew them from work (great reputations as quality researchers) and felt comfortable with their dedication to making informed decisions. I called to find out where their kids went to daycare and filled out that application that evening. Luckily for us, enough parents had pulled their kids out due to COVID-19 concerns, where was a spot open. The teachers and administrators have been great- we could not have made a better choice.
Planning our daughter’s first real birthday party this year
I got off most social media platforms this year to help me redirect time to what I considered important. While it helps me be more present at work and during dinner time, I don’t always know what ‘cool’ or ‘fun’ is for my kids. As my daughter’s birthday approaches, its become more apparent that I needed help. My daughter really enjoyed birthday party she attended at the park this summer (hosted by her friend A). So, I just made a list of all the highlights that I remembered such as A’s mom bringing a cooler of ice pops, a bag of plastic toys, scheduling an early morning meeting, etc.
Acknowledgements: A and G are faculty who have been part of my academic family and village raising my kids. They graciously read this post and provided comments that were incorporated.